you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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