After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
So squirting runs in the family.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
