he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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