also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
zippers are such a cool invention
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
