I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
