She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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