it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
