I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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