how can u be prego again
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
