I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
