this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
