I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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