it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
