Just fell off a train. Bad.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
