dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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