You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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