she is the kim kardashian of front butts
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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