Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Randomize
