girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
