covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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