No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Randomize
