My room smells like vodka and shame
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
