ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
