oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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