Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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