i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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