Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
