tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
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