i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize