After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
These tits shall not be calmed
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
