I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Semen is not good for contacts.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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