Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
