rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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