it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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