hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
