You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
