Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (705): I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single. http://tfl.nu/i1tx
  Replies (47) Good night (1868) Bad night (4210) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (573): I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better. http://tfl.nu/vuqb
  Replies (73) Good night (5761) Bad night (704) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?

  (1-847): View more from Illinois

  It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport? (1-847): It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok. http://tfl.nu/wou3
  Replies (30) Good night (4672) Bad night (970) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her. http://tfl.nu/h3i8
  Replies (8) Good night (2481) Bad night (857) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido" http://tfl.nu/7omt
  Replies (27) Good night (1518) Bad night (4500) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (916): craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in? http://tfl.nu/76bu
  Replies (16) Good night (8340) Bad night (1007) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook http://tfl.nu/xr9p
  Replies (15) Good night (2848) Bad night (927) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid http://tfl.nu/81ik
  Replies (15) Good night (1969) Bad night (735) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot. http://tfl.nu/rv64
  Replies (2) Good night (741) Bad night (1010) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today? http://tfl.nu/v6y2
  Replies (7) Good night (1469) Bad night (344) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE http://tfl.nu/8spd
  Replies (17) Good night (767) Bad night (1744) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit. http://tfl.nu/berc
  Replies (5) Good night (1439) Bad night (396) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks. http://tfl.nu/p1dl
  Replies (6) Good night (1711) Bad night (262)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (775): Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume) http://tfl.nu/nwkp
  Replies (6) Good night (1271) Bad night (282) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (573): I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember.. http://tfl.nu/rkzm
  Replies (2) Good night (679) Bad night (206) Order T-Shirt

Randomize