Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I need to wash the frat house off of me