did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.