omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.