What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize