dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.