There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize