Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
