garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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