Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
