I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
