I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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