Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
