Rock
Scissors
Fuck
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Randomize
