Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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