i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
So vagazzling was a success
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Congratulations! We have a period
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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