everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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