He is an equal opportunity slut.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
