Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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