Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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