am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
