sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
