She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
