You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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