Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
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chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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